Advice to graduates

Gary Mitchell

Editor’s note: Amos is a church mouse, unable to use the keyboard shift keys and unschooled in the art of punctuation.

mousy advice to graduates

boss i ve run across
some quippy sayings
compiled by perry
tanksley some of them
particularly relate to
the church pew
underworld and this time
of graduation so i just had
to share them with you

these quotes and
convoluted sayings
offer sage guidance
through the choppy
waters of life boss

for example one adage
states that some
church members have
faces long enough to
make a mule jealous

or how about some
notes on cooperation
so we plow along
said the fly to the ox
boy we sure shook that
bridge said the mouse
to the elephant
let s not be stepping on
each other said the flea
to the dog

samuel johnson once said
he was dull in a new way
and that made many think
him great

someone once quipped that
adam was the only
indispensable man in history

a great many people – like
cats – lick themselves
with their own tongues

a fish could stay out of
trouble if it could keep
its mouth closed

as frank hubbard once said
why doesn t the fellow who
says – i m no speech maker -
let it go at that instead of
giving a demonstration

on the subject of religion
lyman abbot once said
religion is the life of god
in the soul of man

c s lewis once suggested
that everyone says forgiveness
is a lovely idea until they have
something to forgive

people green with envy are
ripe for trouble

one of my favorite writers boss
is james thurber who once
described an acquaintance -
while he was not dumber than
an ox he was not any smarter

some people suppose they
have a clear conscience
when actually they have a
poor memory

one is either a second-mile
christian or else he is a
second-rate christian

the bible says to bear
one another s burden
not to bear down on them

charles spurgeon once advised
young ministers in training -
learn to say – no – it will be
of more use to you than to be
able to read latin

fred beck says you can t
build a church with
stumbling blocks

it s far better to be alone
than in bad company

and boss i especially like
george eliot s remark -
animals are such agreeable
friends they ask no questions
they pass no criticisms

billy sunday had good advice
to husbands for their wives -
try praising your wife even if
it does frighten her at first

and to conclude this episode
on quotable quotes boss i call
on the wit of robert benchley
who remarked – drawing on
my fine command of language
i said nothing

amos