Column fueled by ‘tons’ of fan mail

Ned Cantwell

This column receives tons of mail proclaiming its brilliance. Oh, OK, a smattering of e-mails, often questioning the writer’s mental state.
Here is some fun stuff.
What will you ask God when you finally get a chance to meet him, a recent column wondered? A Carlsbad reader who requests anonymity for obvious reasons poses a real dilemma.
“Will we really meet our loved ones when we go to heaven, like a lot of people say? Will I meet my husband again if he dies before me? Would that be my first husband or my second one? If my first one, then what about his current wife? Do I have to meet her too? What about my mother-in-law? If I have to meet my ex-husband’s wife and my mother-in-law there, then how can that be heavenly?”
Do they have Thanksgiving dinners in heaven? May I please be invited to this reader’s gathering? Should be a lively one.
Todd Fuqua, sports editor of the Ruidoso News, scolded me for omitting Ronny Cox when I wrote about celebrities with ties to New Mexico. Todd reminds me Cox was born in Cloudcroft, raised in Portales, graduated Portales High and Eastern New Mexico University.
Cox movies include Deliverance, Beverly Hills Cops, and Murder at 1600. Get this: While Cox was attending ENMU he put insulation in a home where Todd Fuqua later lived as a child. Todd and I both write words that appear in the same newspaper, probably my closest brush with fame.
When I complained about a friend sneaking into the parking lot and affixing bumper stickers to my car proclaiming me a member of the National Rifle Association, Julie Carter went me one better. Waaaay better.
Clad in a black satin jacket, Julie once shopped for her entire weekly grocery list unaware that stuck to the back of that shiny black jacket was a neon orange sticker proclaiming her “RIPE FOR TONITE.” Daughter Tricia, then a teenager, perpetuated the wonderful sticker terrorism. Tricia had peeled the RIPE sticker from an avocado in the veggie section.
Here is an amazing fact about Julie Carter, county correspondent for the Ruidoso newspaper. Julie Carter has to drive 60 miles round trip to get her mail. And she is a happy lady. Why do I grumble when I have to drive two miles roundtrip to Allsups to get the morning newspaper?
On a more serious note:
Paul Weinbaum, one of the men fighting in court to have the three crosses removed from the Las Cruces municipal logo, took severe exception to my column criticizing his effort. “You know it’s the church and the family’s responsibility to teach religion to their children, not the government,” he writes.
That is so true, and the column’s intent was to focus on parental involvement. But you know what? I still don’t think those three crosses are going to immerse anyone in spirituality. I appreciate Weinbaum’s response.

Ned Cantwell is a retired newspaperman living in Ruidoso who tries to think of something clever to say in this tagline. Reader Jo Megchelsen of Lea County thinks it’s the best part of the weekly effort. Probably because it is The End.