amos: tangled in christmas

By Gary Mitchell

a view from under the pew
 
Editor’s note: Amos is a church mouse, who types by hopping on the computer keyboard keys, but he can’t operate the capital shift, and he shuns punctuation marks — except hyphens and dashes.
 
tangled in christmas 
 
boss i don t know if
you ve noticed the
wonder of the lighted
world around us
at this time of year
but sometimes it
takes my breath away
 
like yesterday for
example
 
i decided to decorate
my own little humble
matchbox abode with
a string of multicolored
blinking lights actually i
thought about those
lovely icicle-looking
white lights but by the
time i hung them in
lustrous array around
my matchbox home
they spread out a
half-mile in all
directions and nobody
could come visit me
and i could never
leave home without
tippytoeing through
the lights and burning
my little pink paws
 
but the little red green
blue and yellow blinking
lights will do just fine
thank you boss – at least
i hope they won t burn up
my little matchbox house
in the process
 
so you can imagine my
excitement when i opened
up the box and the string
of lights tumbled out
all over the floor
 
of course boss i had to
find the plug end so i
waded in like a crazy
dimwitted fool
 
it wasn t long before i
found myself completely
engulfed by strands of
electrical wire and brightly
colored bulbs of varying
intensity i had wires and
bulbs around each of my
four legs around my throat
circling my ears and wrapped
fifty times around my tail
and boss i suspected i was
in trouble
 
i knew i was definitely in
trouble when i saw freddy
the flea hopping by and
laughing uncontrollably
 
whatcha doing amos says he 
 
trying to find my feet says me 
 
just look down says he you re
such a clown
and off he hops boss with nary
a frown
 
but it got worse because the
ladies songbird choir came
chirping by singing christmas
carols in the frosty air they
chirped here and they chirped
there all seeming without
a care first about we
three kings and ending with
god rest ye merry gentlemen
 
i wasn t a cheerful audience
boss now i know how a bird
in sing-sing feels says me
mournfully trying to sit on
my heels
 
then the worst happened
boss marcellus the mean ol
nasty cat found me but
worse than that he found
the plug end to the light set
 
oh god help me i prayed with
fervent intensity and closed
my eyes fearing my destiny
 
but lo and behold boss
marcellus grinned a big cat
grin and said here have a
merry christmas my friend
 
and boss i fainted dead away
in joyful yuletide hilarity

amos
 
p s – merry christmas to
one and all – and a happy
new year as well