Impulse shopping often results in regrets

Clyde Davis: Local Columnist

There is still plenty of time left for even thoughtful shoppers to find the right holiday presents, and with that in mind, space in this column next week will be devoted to that reality.

In keeping with the mad rush of after Thanksgiving shoppers, we are going to focus this week on presents which you definitely, unequivocally do not want to see under the decorated evergreen.

* The boxed set of “Breaking Bonaducci.” Two viewings of this gem — both by accident — make it plain that one way to get a TV show slot is to be a has been, drugaddled, sexist, racist, former child actor.

* Another Jack Russell terrier. The first one wandered her way into our hearts, and wanders the neighborhood every chance she gets. She takes obsessive to new levels, making my Westie appear laid back. Kassady, we love you,but we’re so glad you’re not twins.

* The boxed set of “Growing Up Gatti.” This absurd attempt to make something out of nobodies goes the Anna Nicole Show one worse. Along with our opening choice, it ought to be protested by the Italian Anti Defamation League, if anyone from the I.A.D.L. even thinks it is worth the trouble.

* The chidren’s video game of a popular cartoon character which contains unexpected and unwelcome cuss words. It is not really a bad cuss word, but when we rented this video game for my grandson, we didn’t expect it to expand his vocabulary.

* Holiday flavored soda pop. Remember the holiday flavors which one elitist soda company marketed last year ? The cranberry was actually good, but did anyone really have the guts to try turkey flavored, or mashed potatoes and gravy, much less green beans ? Remember, this is soda pop we’re talking about. 

* The bouncing holiday figures that endlessly repeat microchip version! s of Christmas carols. I have no personal dislike, but I always feel for the retail employee who has to spend 8-12 hour listening to a reindeer tweedle “Gramma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.”

* Gadgety tools. I used to work in the hardware department. I love tools- to use them, to work with them, even to handle them. If you also love tools, you will know what I mean by the gadgety tools that always emerge from hiding at this time of year.

* Finally, we do not need —for Christmas — another year of playoff disappointments for the Pittsburgh Steelers. Why go so far, as has been done so many times, only to end up the bridesmaid again ? If we’re not gonna make the Superbowl, let’s just get it over with now.

Clyde Davis is pastor of First Presbyterian Church in Portales and an instructor at Eastern New Mexico University. He can be contacted at: clyde_davis@yahoo.com