Collector knows when to clean house

By Grant McGee: Local columnist

“You don’t like my collections for some reason,” I said. “You make little snippy comments about them every now and then.”

“I don’t like collections that gather dust,” said The Lady of the House. “I don’t mind your music collection; you play all those LPs and cassettes. But that book collection of yours, a lot of them you’ve read and they’re sitting there getting dusty.”
I looked over the stacks and realized she was r…ri…ri…right. And so began my spring cleaning for this year.

There were a few volumes I could jettison. I thought about setting them free by just leaving them at places around the area like coffee shops, student lounges and such. Or maybe I could sell them cheap at a yard sale. As I made a decision on those books I gave each one some thought.

I picked up the oversized volume titled “Everything You Know is Wrong.” I’d hardly read the thing. It’s about conspiracy theories behind stuff. I don’t necessarily believe these things but they make me think. Yeah, I’m getting rid of this one. If I believed there are dark motives behind everything it’d turn me into a real curmudgeon, and The Lady of the House says I’ve been teetering pretty close to the edge of permanent curmudgeonry.

Here was a well worn copy of “College Not Required! 100 Great Careers That Don’t Require a 4 Year Degree.” I picked it up at a Clovis-Carver library book sale. It made me think about college. I always planned on going back but then I got swept up in the stuff of life. I thought I’d return, get a degree and become a lawyer, international spy or president of the United States of America. It’s only been in the past year I’ve realized talking on the radio and writing stuff is my career. Being president would be more stress than I could handle anyway. And the Secret Service wouldn’t let me ride my bicycle as much as I wanted to.

There were two books I hadn’t even cracked open: “Why Are They Watching Us” and “The Roswell Dig Diaries.” UFO books. These things won’t tell me anything I don’t already know. Those of us in the know, know that the aliens dropped in on us to check out our use of atomic bombs after we set that one off back in 1945. They’ve been keeping an eye on us ever since. The government won’t tell us this because it will unhinge civilization as we know it.

Really.

I held a dog-eared copy of “Waylon” in my hands, the autobiography of one of my favorite country singers. This was an interesting read. I learned a few things I didn’t know, like Waylon’s first marriage was performed at a church in Clovis. I thought I’d keep this book but maybe someone else would enjoy it.

These are just some of the titles I decided to get rid of, along with the travel book about Java and the one about the Yukon and the book that theorizes that the planet Venus is actually a chunk of Jupiter.

Once I’d been through all my books I had six plastic bags full of stuff to jettison. I shoved them under a nearby bed. Out of sight, out of mind. They can sit there until I decide what to do with them. Gathering dust.

Grant McGee hosts the weekday morning show on KTQM-FM in Clovis. Contact him at:
blisscreek@plateautel.net