Amos: a tribute to Howie

Editor’s note: Amos is a church mouse, unable to use the keyboard shift keys and unschooled in the art of punctuation.

a tribute to howie

boss the other day i
was so depressed i
went to the phone to
call dial-a-mousey-
friend but a recording
came on which said
we re sorry but all our
mousey friends have left
for parts unknown
please call again next
week maybe they ll
be back by then

just when i thought life
and the world in general
had kicked me out of it
boss i ran across — or
rather stumbled over —
this funny looking little
bookworm named howie
in a local college library

howie was a religion
professor s pet bookworm
and he resided in a corner of
the prof s tottery old bookshelf

howie has a peculiar
habit for a religious
bookworm he likes to
write limericks — and
sometimes they don t
even make sense which
makes them even funnier

would you like to hear
a limerick he asks

no i wouldn t i reply

ok here s how it
goes he said
a very near-sighted
old man from drew
made a trip to
the municipal zoo
he mistook a gorilla
for his dear wife
priscilla and said i
thought you had
shopping to do

i didn t want to
hear it i yelled

ok here s another
he said but try to
remember to grin at
the end

a hillbilly singer
named moe was adept
with his old banjo
he twang and he twang
and sang and he sang
till he died of sadness
and woe

i think i know how he
felt i said

tell me what you think
of this one

said a green army recruit
willie mill
when asked why he went
over the hill
to avoid being dead
for the sergeant had said
when ready everyone fire
at will

boss i began to grin
maybe the world wasn t
going to end i think I
had found a friend
so i asked him to tell
me another one again

sure he said with a smile
but it may take me awhile
oh here s one the best of
the pile

did you hear about the
awful blizzard
it was colder than a
penguin s gizzard
the icicle i ate
i discovered too late
was nothing but a
quick-frozen lizard

boss i laughed and i
laughed and it really felt
good it helped me
realize that even if the
whole world rejects me
jesus loves me and his
love through howie
demonstrated the truth of
the proverb that a merry
heart doeth good like
medicine

amos
p s — oh by the way boss
the limericks were
courtesy of the late dr fred
howard of wayland baptist
university — just thought
you might like to know