A view from under the pew: amos fights his self-image

By Gary Mitchell: Religion columnist

Editor’s note: Amos is a churchmouse, who types by hopping on the computer keyboard, but he can’t operate the capital shift keys, and he shuns punctuation marks – except dashes and hyphens.

yesterday boss i struggled
to get out of my little
matchbox bed and when i
finally made it to the kitchen
sink to wash up I was in
for a rude awakening
someone had left a little
purple-and-pink-trimmed
hand mirror on the sink s edge

because i was watching
the edge so i wouldn t
fall in i didn t see the
hand mirror lying there
and i tripped over the
purple-and-pink trim
sprawling on my chubby
face and roley-poley
tummy my just-washed
whiskers got crumpled
and my tail dangled
awkwardly over the mirror

it was an ugly sight boss –
ugly in capital letters here –
it was one of those rare
moments when i came
face-to-face with myself

and i came to the realization
that i looked more like a
candidate for the bugtussle
sewer brigade than for the
mousy who s who of
famous hack poetry

what a miserable specimen
of mousedom was i – i stared
at the hairy lumpy mass
that was me and i moaned
painfully – look at me this
can t be – frankenstein has
handsomer features than
me – oh woe is me – i wish
i were a tree or a ship on the
sea – anything but me

just then my best friend
freddie flea hopped
joyously by