a view from under the pew: the great ob-word nightmare

By Gary Mitchell: CNJ religion columnist

Editor’s note: Amos is a churchmouse, who types by hopping on the computer keyboard, but he can’t operate the capital shift key, and he shuns punctuation marks – except hyphens and dashes.

the great ob-word nightmare

last night boss i woke up
with a terrible nightmare

as always i was being
pursued by the hideous
menacing marcellus the cat

with no hesitation at all i
scampered up the broom
to the top of the kitchen
counter darted past the
sink and poised myself
at the edge of the other
side of the counter

muttering a hurried prayer i
dived off the counter s edge
right into the gaping pages
of the world s largest
webster s dictionary

in fact boss i landed in the
middle of the -o-words
ow says me as i fell in a
heap on my crumpled tail

suddenly the ob-letters
came alive and lept off
the page at me boss i
stared in disbelief at the
parade of hostile words
before me

get off of our page says
the word -obnoxious- who
was scowling at me – or
we ll cast you head over
heels into oblivion

you may appear to be
somewhat oblong or
even obpyriform – that
means inversely pear-
shaped boss