Dec. 22, 2008

HOLLYWOOD – God bless America, and how’s everybody?

• The New York Yankees signed two pitchers for $242 million last week. Great pitchers are worth their weight in diamonds. California could end its budget problems if they could find a way to put Sandy Koufax out to stud.

• The Weather Channel reports that a cold front hit New York City Friday, dumping heavy snowfall and record low temperatures. The entire Eastern Seaboard was snowed in. Fur protesters on Fifth Avenue were having to watch their paint freeze in mid-air.

• Caroline Kennedy embarked on a listening tour of upstate New York on Wednesday where she was swarmed by fans and well-wishers and supporters. It’s a good civics lesson to the Illinois voters. A U.S. Senate seat is not a sales item, it’s a birthright.

• Barack Obama said Friday that America’s education system must begin preparing children for the high paying jobs of the future. The training’s already begun. At malls across America kids are sitting on Santa’s lap practicing to be auto executives.

• Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich was defiant before reporters Friday, claiming he’s innocent of all criminal wrongdoing charges filed against him. The press conference was packed. He made $800 just selling the front-row seats.

• Governor Rod Blagojevich was reported to have mob ties back when he was a bookie in Chicago. Illinois lawmakers and the U.S. attorney are fighting over the audiotapes. The difference between the Mafia and the government is that one of them is organized.

• Iraqi journalist Muntazer al-Zeidi begged for a pardon Friday for his behavior at last Sunday’s press conference in Baghdad. He fears how long he might remain in jail for throwing two shoes at President Bush. So far the only charge is littering.

• The White House decided to loan General Motors and Chrysler $17