By Clyde Davis: Local columnist
It is too late, you say, to salvage the pathetic fact that you forgot Valentine’s Day. It is too late, you say, as you sit sipping your coffee and reading this paper, dated “Feb. 14th.” I can no longer plan to take her away on a mysterious trip for the weekend (not that I could have afforded it anyway!) I can no longer plan to give her an expensive gift, because there is not time to shop for it.
I must simply accept, you say, the fact that I am a craven Troglodyte and everyone out there, including my Uncle Melvin, treats his wife/girlfriend/potential girlfriend better than I do.
No, my friend with the hangdog look and the basset hound eyes, all is not lost in your world of ardor. When you have finished reading this column, put your newspaper aside, dump out your cold coffee, and begin to pursue romance.
If she is headed to church without you, well, that is mistake number one which you may correct. Perhaps you are a regular churchgoer, but again, perhaps you are among those many males for whom the last time you accompanied your beloved to church was the day you exchanged nuptial vows.
You, yes you, may fix that, and be assured that, if the jeans you’re wearing are fairly decent, they’d be acceptable in most houses of worship. This is, after all, the great southwest; this is, after all, 2010. “ I didn’t have any dress slacks clean.” Is weak reason, indeed, to not accompany the woman of your dreams to church.
You say you forgot to get a Valentine Card? And there are no cards left in the rack? Please, broaden your horizons. The word “Valentine” need not be on the card, for it to be acceptable.
Look for the ones with the pretty pictures and the slices of poetry that test your comprehension level. Those are the everyday romantic cards. If you can’t remember anything else, write down the name “Susan Polis Schultz” on your palm. She writes those kind of cards.
The next step In conquering the Everest of the forgotten Valentine’s Day is to understand that she understands that you will probably have to wait in line at any decent restaurant on this day. It will be okay with her. It may even give you a chance to communicate.
Yes, we do have decent restaurants in Clovis. I can’t name names but there are enough of them that it presents no barrier.
You may also wish to pursue the Ned Houk picnic option. For the slightly adventurous, or the Pennsylvania born, the idea of a picnic in this kind of weather is not farfetched. Weather doesn’t have to be perfect for it to be a perfect date.
Finally, the simple expedient of letting her choose the movie — DVD or actual theater — is common sense. I, for example, have been dying for months to see the remake of the classic “Wolfman” which came out this weekend. However, it doesn’t take a genius to realize I may not wish to force that hand, on Valentine’s Day.
Whatever you do, keep in mind the words from an Alabama song, which we used at our wedding: “The Maker said take her, and love her forever, take care of her for life…”