‘Cosby Show’ safe 80s movie remake

By Kevin Wilson: CNJ staff writer

Some thoughts I had while wondering if Jeff Daniels could ever land Maggie Gyllenhaal without a movie script involved:

• If you draw a paycheck from an NBA team, you shouldn’t be on a panel voting for NBA awards. Why this doesn’t occur to the NBA, I don’t know.

LeBron James, after leading the league’s winningest team in points, assists, steals, blocks and minutes played (and 30 rebounds from leading in that category), secured 116 of 123 first-place votes. Three went to Kevin Durant, who at 21 became the league’s youngest scoring champion. The other four went to Orlando’s Dwight Howard — all four draw paychecks from the Orlando Magic, whether they were broadcasters or writers for the website.

• By every metric, James was the MVP, and the vote did reflect it. But in a year where it isn’t so close, I don’t want to know that a vote could be swung by a not-so-partial voting bloc.

I was doing some spring cleaning, and found a bunch of books I had read and would never read again. I won’t say what store I took them to, but it buys used books.

The clerk was very friendly, but what I couldn’t understand was the clerk apologizing when the store’s catalog system said it wouldn’t accept one of my books.

“Sorry,” she said. “I don’t mean it the wrong way, but we don’t want those books.”

Are we so sensitive we need an apology for everything? In case you didn’t gather from me trying to sell them, Kevin doesn’t want those books either.

• I wrote briefly last week that one of my issues with the new Arizona immigration law was that the budget-troubled state was going to have to quickly train thousands of police officers how to spot illegal immigrants without targeting Hispanics.

Apparently, Arizona thinks the same thing. On the same day my column ran, USA Today reported Arizona Peace Officer Standards and Training Board was seeking federal aid to train its officers. Arizona’s elected officials would have asked, but I guess they were too busy grandstanding about their need to act without the federal government’s help.

Arizona’s like the kid that writes from college, “You’ve been ineffective parents, and I’m going to be making all of my own decisions. I’m independent of you. P.S. Send money.”

• In the dictionary, “confirmed” means, “being firmly settled in habit.” In Facebook event planning, “confirmed” means, “Feel privileged if I respond to the text message from you asking why I didn’t show up.”

• So far, ’80s movie remakes include, “The A-Team” and “The Karate Kid.” I’m torn on what the next remake should be … “Back to the Future,” so we can screw up more predictions, or “Teen Wolf” so we can give Justin Beiber a really awkward movie role?

Nah, let’s do a “Cosby Show” movie. We know the whole cast is available.