a view from under the pew: the peanut butter incident

Gary Mitchell: Religion columnist

amos the churchmouse:
a view from under the pew

Editor’s note: Amos is a churchmouse, who types by hopping on the computer keyboard, but he can’t operate the capital shift, and he shuns punctuation marks – except hyphens and dashes.

the peanut butter incident

boss i nearly was
no longer here last
night i was slipping
away and almost gone

it gave little jenny
the mouse next door
quite a fright

never eat peanut-
butter-and-crackers
before bedtime boss

i shoulda known
better one of my
best buddies in dallas
mike the newshound
used to always do it
and one night he died

it was sad and i shoulda
known better because
last night it nearly
happened to me

i really don t remember
it well i m sort of a
heavy sleeper boss
but jenny said she
heard me wheezing and
gasping to get my breath -
come to think of it now
i was probably the reason
she was still awake -

when she came over
she found me sitting
on the edge of my
matchbox bed heaving
but hardly breathing

she said she tried to
rub me on my back and
she prayed for me

finally i was able to
breathe again jenny
turned to me and
said you ve been
eating peanut butter
late at night again
haven t you

i nodded my head and
sheepishly – if that s
possible for a mouse -
grinned

don t ever do that
again says she

ok says me and
promptly dropped
off into a deep and
restful sleep

funny thing boss i
hardly remember it
at all jenny came
over and asked me
how i was

fine says i why

because you weren t
so fine a few hours
ago don t you
remember nearly
choking to death on
the edge of your bed
says she

no that was a dream
says me

a dream says she
if that was a dream
why did it nearly make
me scream

then i sorta got
scared myself boss
but the lord seemed
to speak to my heart

don t worry i m with
you says he to me
peanut butter may
stick to your paws
and the roof of your
mouth but i ll stick
closer to you than
any brother – closer
than peanut butter or
even elmer s glue

and somehow boss that
just brushed away
all my fears and blues