a view from under the pew: amos seeks st valentine

Gary Mitchell

amos the churchmouse:

a view from under the pew

Editor’s note: Amos is a churchmouse, who types by hopping on the computer keyboard, but he can’t operate the capital shift, and he shuns punctuation marks – except hyphens and dashes.

amos seeks st valentine

boss i realize that it will
soon be valentine s day
but the other day i wanted
to find out more about that
weird holiday and why people
do such strange things in
such peculiar ways

i ran across a couple of
old discarded encyclopedias
but they only confused me

most people believe that
valentine s day was
connected to a saint by
that same name
but boss history records
only two saints by that
name and both had their
heads chopped off
to me that sounds like an
awful sad love story – and
has almost nothing to do
with valentine cards red
hearts wild roses or
chocolate-covered cherries

so boss i decided to hunt
up willifred the white rat -
you remember willifred boss –
he was a mad scientist s
experimental mouse before
his conversion – anyway he
invented a miniature time
machine for the church pew
underworld – he calls it the
tiny time traveler and it
fits into any regular model
motorized matchbox such as
my 57 cheeserolet

at any rate boss i jumped
into willifred s tiny time
traveler and went searching
through time for that shadowy
st valentine

i landed somewhere in the
middle of the 200s smack dab
in the catacombs under the
city of rome