Aug. 7, 2008

HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • China was hit by a 6.2 earthquake in the middle of the country on Tuesday. It struck just three days before the games begin. We could have the first Olympic Games in history that hand out medals for standing still and breathing deeply. • President Bush arrived in […]

Aug. 6, 2008

HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • President Bush left for Alaska, South Korea and Thailand Monday before heading to China. He’s taking his usual entourage of SUVs, cargo planes and helicopters. As soon as he released his itinerary, oil shot up $2 a barrel on supply concerns. • China promised the most spectacular fireworks […]

Aug. 5, 2008

HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Brett Favre declined Green Bay’s $20 million offer to stay retired in Mississippi Friday. He’d rather mix it up in the trenches on Sundays. Every 150 years Americans have to learn again that Southerners would rather fight than farm. • Ludacris released a profane rap song endorsing Barack […]

Aug. 4, 2008

HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • The Los Angeles Dodgers stunned the baseball world by acquiring Boston Red Sox legend Manny Ramirez Friday. He’s world famous for his tremendous talent and his crazy behavior. He’ll blend into Los Angeles like it’s the Witness Protection Program. • John McCain pulled even with Barack Obama in […]

Aug. 3, 2008

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Aug. 1, 2008

HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Brett Favre infuriated Green Bay Packer fans with plans to arrive in training camp on Friday and rescind his retirement. For months, people in Wisconsin have showered the emotional quarterback with going-away gifts. He is not going away, but it was worth a try. • Oliver Stone released […]

July 31, 2008

HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Barack Obama met with economists Monday following his return from Europe, where he met with NATO leaders and helped craft a unified Allied policy for disarming Iran. He’s the acting president of the United States. Nature can’t stand a void. • Brett Favre faxed a letter to the […]

July 30, 2008

HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • The Dark Knight passed $310 million at the box office in its first 10 days out. It was a very expensive movie to make. Just the amount of gasoline it took to get fire to shoot out of the Batmobile nearly broke the studio. • China said Monday […]

July 29, 2008

HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • John Edwards refused comment Saturday after he was spotted seeing his mistress and love child at the Beverly Hilton. A lot of people are angry. Comedians wasted one year rooting for Hillary Clinton thinking she was the candidate of adultery jokes. • The U.S. Olympic basketball team played […]

July 28, 2008

HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • The Green Bay Packers said Brett Favre will report to the team’s training camp Sunday. It will be taped for a reality show. Brett Favre is going to compete with Barack Obama in a series of challenges to determine which one of them is the Second Coming. • […]

July 21, 2008

HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • The President Bush Library was voted permission Friday to be built at Southern Methodist University in Dallas. He belongs there. With Michael Irvin, Pacman Jones, Josh Hamilton and now George W. Bush, no one can deny that Dallas will forgive anybody. • Buckingham Palace suffered further water damage […]

June, 29 2008

BEVERLY HILLS–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • San Francisco will name the city’s sewage treatment plant after President Bush if a ballot measure passes this fall. Don’t miss the tour. Inside the plant will be an exhibit showing visitors the difference between weapons of mass destruction and Shinola. • Shaquille O’Neal was ordered by […]

Jan. 9, 2008

Argushamilton.com Argus Hamilton HOLLYWOOD — God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Roger Clemens denied steroid use on CBS 60 Minutes on Sunday, and on the same show Pakistan’s Pervez Musharraf denied having a hand in Benazir Bhutto’s assassination last week. The ratings were huge. Everyone loves liar’s poker night on CBS 60 Minutes. • Britney […]

Jan. 8, 2008

argushamilton.com Argus Hamilton HOLLYWOOD — God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Entertainment Tonight aired video of a celebrity meltdown Saturday. Everyone’s favorite blonde was strapped on a gurney and taken to a mental ward, crying that her husband ruined her life. It could get worse if she doesn’t win New Hampshire tonight. • General Motors […]

Jan. 1, 2008

argushamilton.com Argus Hamilton BEVERLY HILLS — God bless America, and how’s everybody? • The San Francisco Zoo was termed a crime scene after a tiger attacked zoo patrons. It doesn’t seem possible. The cat had to jump a 15-foot moat and a 20-foot-high fence, and that was just to get into the United States from Mexico. […]