lefty the lightning bug
boss a distant reader heard about lefty the left-winged
lightning bugand requested the retelling of his saga
so here we go
we have a radical left-wing
lightning bug terrorizing
the church pew underworld
and it s driving a few of us
more insane than usual
of course with his being
left-wing-ed that means
that he generally flies in
circles but they re really
weird circles boss
in fact there s a faction
of us who suspect that
lefty the left-wing-ed
lightning bug may be
responsible for those
weird circles in peru and
corn field patterns in
other parts of the earth
but that s just speculation
boss still we all know lefty
has been known to dive
bomb into liquor bottles
- and you know how
dangerous it is to mix
lightning bugs with any
sort of alcohol boss
well lefty began flying
zig-zaggedy patterns
complete with flashing
tail lights and notorious
dive bombings here in the
church pew underworld
and it has created all sorts
of panic pathos and
pandemonium boss
dora the little duckling came
quacking to her mother
that she was attacked by
a flashing ufo flying upside
down over the duck pond
then willie the wiggleworm
crashed into a boulder while
he was trying to dodge
lefty s terroristic dive run
the final straw however
came when lefty tried to
disrupt pastor leroy beetle s
sunday sermon by flashing
patterns of 6-6-6 in the air
over the bugtussle choir
just then big rawley eagle
swooped down from the
clouds and into the church
pew underworld meeting
place
the wind from his gigantic
wings toppled little lefty the
lightning bug flippety-side-up
what was that says he
in awed incredulity was that
a space ship or alien entity
naw that was only me says rawley
as he landed just above the
baptistry
you scared the be-jeebers
out of me says lefty rather
timidly why did you do that
to little bitty me
well i didn t mean to harm
you little one but don t you
see what evil you ve done to
these friends of mine how they
run and hide from your wacky
aerial signs and your dangerous
flight patterns and designs
you re only creating confusion
and despair with your flashing
tail and your nonsensical dives
through the air
lefty lowered his head and his
wings and asked softly what
can i do to make amends for
all my flings
repent and ask for forgiveness
and a change you will see says
rawley jesus will come in and
set you free
you ll be a blessing to others
you ll see and a light to shatter
the darkness of life s futility
amos
View from under the pew: Lefty the lightning bug
Published: Thursday, August 20th, 2009
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