Have economic hard times avoided you so far? Well, they don’t have to, because there are plenty of investment opportunities for people with just too much disposable income.
Perhaps you’ve seen the Snuggie, a fleece blanket that’s basically a robe, with arm holes and a hood. It’s $19.99 plus shipping and handling charges, which I’ll assume to be an extra $35. For this investment, the Snuggie solves a problem I never knew existed — having to choose between the warmth of a blanket and not having your arms trapped under a blanket.
Dressed in Snuggies, otherwise dignified people attend outdoor sporting events and campfires, completely unaware they look like a neon-colored monk community.
And, as my friend Andy fears, they’re available just in time for the holidays.
“I believe one of my classmates has a snuggie and loves it,” he e-mailed me. “I fear we will all be getting them for Chistmas.” Not to be topped, I responded, “Maybe you’ll be able to use it to dust off those singing fish wall hangings.”
Or maybe exercise is your thing. Consider sinking your dollars in the SpeedFit, a human-powered treadmill/transportation unit. As you run on the SpeedFit, it transports you down the road, which is the same thing you could accomplish by running without a SpeedFit. Just find the online video, because words fail to describe the sheer stupidity involved in this one.
Or, maybe the economy has struck you already. Just drown your sorrows in an afternoon of football. You can debate which is worse — the St. Louis Rams, or the embarrassment of a Pro-Bowl quarterback not knowing the game’s simplest rules.
The Philadelphia Eagles and Cincinnati Bengals could not score in Sunday’s 15-minute sudden death overtime period, meaning the game ended in a 13-13 tie. I thought it would be embarrassing enough for the Eagles to tie the Bengals. But that got negated when quarterback Donovan McNabb didn’t know the game could end in a tie.
I’ve had the pleasure of meeting Mr. McNabb; I like him and find him to be an asset to the league. But it boggles my mind to imagine McNabb, an NFL starter for nearly a decade, was completely unaware there could be a tie.
Well, I guess it’s acceptable because ties never happen, right? Well, except for that tie that happened six years ago, when McNabb was in the league. Never mind that “T” slot in the NFL standings section, accompanied by “W” and “L,” and don’t hurt your head wondering what McNabb thought the “T” stood for. Never mind that in the final weeks of every NFL season, countless reports are given about league playoff scenarios — scenarios that required the Eagles to get a win or a tie to make the playoffs.
I can only hope that one mistake isn’t an accurate representation of McNabb or the rest of the NFL. But if it is ... hey guys, I’ve got some blankets and exercise equipment to sell you.
Kevin Wilson is a columnist for Freedom New Mexico. He can be contacted at 763-3431, ext. 313, or by e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org