Editor’s note: Amos is a church mouse who types by hurling himself at the keys, but he can’t use the shift keys, and he shuns punctuation marks — except for hyphens and dashes.   the struggle to get in shape   boss i guess you heard about my recent cheese binge the mouthy magpies and busybody blue jays can t seem to find anything else to talk about this week   they could chirp and chortle all they wanted to about my eating habits boss   it wasn t a problem for me until just the other day when i nearly got stuck in the mouse hole in the corner of the choir loft   it was an ugly sight boss my rear end was jiggling to beat the band just to get my body unstuck from that hole in the wall   i finally did get unstuck — thanks to louie the songdog who lassoed my foot and yanked with all his hairy might i m not sure boss but i think my left hind leg is now a bit longer than my other three i feel a little like the drunk guy walking along the curb — one foot in the street and one on the curb — and wondering why the world is tilted   i tell ya boss i needed to go on a super-duper exercise program one that would trim and tone my little fat mousy hide   i recalled flashbacks from the past — running around a mousetrack in high school — scenes of fellow runners cavorting in the bugtussle marathon — what scintillating specimens of athletic prowess exclamation point here boss   so running became my goal in life i was going to get in shape no more flubby tubby for me i had visions of myself as a supercharged lean mean mouse machine   come on boss humor me at least quit snickering under your breath   early the next morning i donned my cheesecloth jogging suit and charged around the loop in the church s fellowship hall — for about 20 paces that is — i tripped over a wadded-up church bulletin and landed smack dab on my chin whiskers so i decided to run a loop around the church s rose garden but i kept being bombarded by a band of nose-diving mosquitoes i ran harder but it was no use i was too easy a target   i cowered behind an old dead tree stump and tried to retrieve my breath and any movable muscles i can t make it i muttered to myself when i thought no one was listening   about that time sammy salamander waddled by and says why don t you try what the indians used to do when they ran long distances   what s that says me in a wheezing whisper   each runner would put a small smooth round stone  in his mouth and suck on it to keep his mouth moist while he relaxed and ran says sammy matter-of-factly   okay says i and boss i tried it but while i was running and turning a corner marcellus the ugly ungodly cat pounced at me out of nowhere — and i swallowed the little round pebble — it choked me up boss   the next sunday morning pastor leroy beetle preached on first timothy four-eight that says — for physical training is of some value but godliness has value for all things — exercise is good but seeking god is greater says he   and all i could do was mutter a resolute and contrite amen                                      amos