State mottos: Get 'em while they're relevant
Published: Saturday, May 27th, 2006
Every state has an antiquated motto, usually a timely little statement such as “Don’t Tread on Me.” But no one understands them except local historians, and you know how they are.
So as a public service we here at the Institute for Better Slogans are fostering more up-to-date expressions such as: “We Put the Fun in Fundamentalism” (Georgia), and “Two Billion Years Tsunami Free” (Indiana).
If any of you states out there think you deserve a new motto, we’ll be happy to oblige. Here are samples of our latest slogans for your perusal.
Alabama: “Yes, We Have Electricity.”
Arizona: “But It’s Dry Heat.”
Colorado: “If You Don’t Ski, Don’t Bother.”
Florida: “Ask About Our Streamlined Ballots.”
Iowa: “We Do Weird Things with Corn.”
Kentucky: “Five Million Residents, 50 Surnames.”
Maine: “It’s Really Cold, But Lobsters are Cheap.”
Michigan: “First Line of Defense Against Marauding Canadians.”
Massachusetts: “Our Senators Swim Good.”
Mississippi: “Come Visit, and Feel Better About Your State.”
Louisiana: “Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work.”
Montana: “Land of Big Sky and the Unabomber.”
North Carolina: “Tobacco is a Vegetable.”
Oklahoma: “Like the Musical Without the Music.”
Tennessee: “Home of the Exciting and Colorful Al Gore Museum.”
Nebraska: “Ask About Our State Motto Contest.”
Wisconsin: “Come Cut Your Cheese.”
West Virginia: “Land of Happy Coal Miners’ Daughters.”
New Mexico: “Se Hable Ingles.”
South Dakota: “Warmer Than North Dakota.”
North Dakota: “Warmer Than Alaska.”
Alaska: “You Don’t Need a Refrigerator.”
District of Columbia: “Work-Free Drug Place.”
Oregon: “Thanksgiving Stuffed Owl.”
New York: “Home of ‘Law and Order.’”
Ohio: “At Least You’re Not in Pennsylvania.”
Pennsylvania: “Cook with Coal.”
Kansas: “We Name All Our Dogs TOTO.”
Hawaii: “Haka Tiki Mou Sha-ami Leeki Toru.”
Idaho: “More than Just Potatoes.”
Illinois: “Please, Don’t Pronounce the ‘S.’”
New Hampshire: “Leave Us Alone!”
Utah: “Our Jesus is Bigger than your Jesus.”
Texas: “These Boots Ain’t Made for Walking.”
Arkansas: “Literacy Ain’t Everything.”
(Send cash — no checks or CODs.)
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