Editor’s note: Amos is a churchmouse, unable to use the keyboard shift keys and unschooled in the art of punctuation. He decided last week to try out Willifred the white rat’s experimental tiny time machine. So Willifred installed his Tiny Time Traveler on Amos’ 1957 Cheeserolet motorized matchbox. The moment Amos climbed in, he found himself in San Antonio, Texas, in the mid-1830s and confronted by one of history’s unusual characters. the ballad of davy crickett boss when i hit the ground i was astounded by an unusual sight - a bowlegged cricket with a ratty coonskin cap was twanging away on a modified one-string ukelele this is what he sang born on a trash heap in tennessee a bug so poor in debt and poverty hopped from the heap and into luxury killed him a flea when he was only three dav-y dav-y crickett bug of the wild frontier went to congress to save humanity stirred up strife and risked his dignity went out west to fight the bugs and fleas then wrestled cobras and made some history dav-y dav-y crickett bug of the wild frontier he quit twanging on his ukelele looked me up and down and said what can i do for you stranger are you really davy crickett says me a bit incredulously that i am son says he suspiciously are you a bill collector no not me says me i m just a little wandering churchmouse well i don t have much to do with religion says he ever since a gypsy moth told me that church would probably be the death of me i wouldn t take it that way says me besides church is not the essence of religion - jesus is - and he can set you free from death fear and anxiety what makes you think so says he besides i m not afeered of death scorpions snakes or anything that may be true says me but everybody needs the peace and security of jesus in their mind and heart he gives you life joy and peace that even throughout eternity will never part i ll have to think on that some and give it my utmost consideration says davy and then he picked up his ukelele and started strumming and singing again dav-y dav-y crickett bug of the wild frontier boss i don t know if davy changed or met jesus somewhere along the way but he must have overcome his fear of churches by the time he made it to the alamo in eighteen- thirty-six amos p s - see you next week boss that is if i don t get caught in some kind of time warp in this tiny time machine by the way willifred needs to do something about the size of this thing - it crunches my tail and i come out with more kinks than i started with