amos the churchmouse:
a view from under the pew

Editor’s note: Amos is a churchmouse, who types by hopping on the computer keyboard, but he can’t operate the capital shift, and he shuns punctuation marks – except hyphens and dashes.

amos celebrates his birthday

boss having a birthday
isn t so bad - if only
you didn t have to age any

you ask me how old i
am but i think i ll adopt
the same policy that
the giant redwoods of
california fame have -
never reveal your age
until it s all over - and
above all never outlive
your usefulness

boss i woke up this
morning feeling rather
decrepit and worn-out
even my cozy little
matchbox bed looked
like it had a lot of old
gray cobwebs all around it

when i rolled out of
bed i stubbed my litte
mousy paw - it hurts
more when you get
older you know boss -
my favorite cheesecloth
suit looked tattered and
worn even my shoes were
old and wrinkled
life seemed dreary dismal
and gloomy  i was a bit
depressed

happy birthday amos
says freddy the flea as
he hopped happily by

thanks says me a bit
grudgingly

just overhead robin
redjoy flew high in the
air hey happy birthday
down there you mousy
gray hair she chirped
as she soared away
without a worry or a care

thanks a lot says me
grumpily i hope you
hit a tree

just then boss a gang
of beastly roaches
circled me just after
i passed some roses
but i never really saw
them until i inadvertently
bumped into their noses -
if they have noses

hey watch where you re
going you old mouse
one of the young punk
insects says

then get out of my way
says me angrily

oh he s a tough old mouse
says one of the thugs

either that or he s an
ugly old grouse says
another one of the bugs

then they all yelled and
they pounced on me
with all their roachy
force whipping me with
their antennae nipping at
my furry skin and pummeling
me with multitudinous legs

it was awful boss - i ve been
scalded by hot water
pounced on by alley cats
covered in jello and chocolate
and tangled up in a waxy mop
but nothing can compare to
being roached

they left me in a disheveled
heap behind the rose bush
i don t know how long i was
there when louie the songdog
padded by and sang out happy
birthday amos

yeah right says me dejectedly

but you know what boss
he helped me up and licked me
in the face combed back my
natty gray hair patted me
on the back and says - you re
okay now have a happy day

and off he trotted while
robin redjoy flew over with
a bright yellow happy birthday
banner - and all my friends
gathered round and sang
for he s a jolly good mouse

good friends make birthdays and
everyday life a lot better don t they
boss - not to mention the birthday
cheesecake they gave me
amos