amos the churchmouse:

a view from under the pew

Editor's note: Amos is a churchmouse, who types by hopping on the computer keyboard, but he can't operate the capital shift, and he shuns punctuation marks - except hyphens and dashes.

so what would jesus drive

boss i m sure you ve

probably seen that new

car campaign promoted

by a coalition of religious

and environmental groups

the coalition is paying good

money to air tv ads that

pointedly ask viewers this

question - what would

jesus drive

the answer according to

the coalition is not so much

that he would drive a honda

or a chevy but that he

wouldn t drive a sport

utility vehicle - he would

drive a fuel-efficient car

well that concept has

taken the church pew

underworld by storm boss

still the campaign made

me think about my little

matchbox 57 cheese-rolet

and it wasn t pretty enough

anymore after all jesus

would drive a pretty car

wouldn t he

then sara spider who runs

the underground discount store

started asking her customers

- what would jesus wear - and

increased her product lines

by 20 percent

on one side of the store

jesus would wear top-of-

the-line name brands by

christian dior-de-bug and

calvin klein-dog

on the other side of the

store monk s robes and

feed-sacks-turned-into-

bug-clothes filled the racks

and cluttered the aisles

then tyrone the trap-door

spider came up with another

great marketing scheme

for his underground video

game palace as he calls it

he started encouraging his

clientele to consider - what

games would jesus play -

and boss you wouldn t

believe the chaotic

assortment of games he

concocted - from shipwreck

the missionaries to outrace

the saints to blast the demons

from hell - it s unbelievable

but anything to sell

then one day along came

the most godly little

insect i know boss -

virgil the praying mantis

virgil says me how would

you answer the question -

what would jesus drive

and boss virgil looked at me

with a glint in his eye and said

that s a wrong question amos

it has no relevant answer

what about the question -

what would jesus wear -

says me again or what about -

what games would jesus play

same response says virgil

those are wrong questions

what do you mean says me

knowing the right questions

to ask gives you the right

direction purpose and answers

in life says he

what about - what would

jesus do - says me

that s right question because

it leads you to consider who

jesus is and what his purpose

for us is

but those other questions

divert us off the track

cause us to consider self

and our selfish motives

we need to ask ourselves

what did jesus do for us

and what does he desire us

to do for him - and others

amos