Dec. 15, 2008

HOLLYWOOD – God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Wall Street tycoon Bernard Madoff confessed to a scam that stole $50 billion from investors. It was the biggest con in history. He was arraigned in Manhattan court Friday but not before he was presented the key to the City of Chicago. • St. Mark’s Episcopal […]

Dec. 12, 2008

HOLLYWOOD – God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich laid low Wednesday after he was arrested for trying to sell a U.S. Senate seat. The cameras caught up with him at a local flea market. He was there to get something for his wife but no one would start the bidding. […]

Dec. 11, 2008

HOLLYWOOD – God bless America, and how’s everybody? • The White House and Congress worked together Tuesday to come up with a federal bailout plan for the Big Three automakers. The idea isn’t polling well at all. Most Americans don’t care who makes the cars as long as O.J. Simpson makes the license plates. • […]

Dec. 10, 2008

HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • The White House announced Thursday that President Bush has purchased a home in the Dallas suburb of Preston Hollow. The president must have paid cash for the house. Would you give a home loan to a guy with a trillion dollar deficit and no job? • Caroline Kennedy […]

Dec. 9, 2007

HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Caroline Kennedy asked the governor of New York Thursday to appoint her to the U.S. Senate seat that’s being vacated by Hillary Clinton. The pattern’s clear. The U.S. Senate is now a day care center for the female relatives of legendary sex addicts. • President Bush went to […]

Dec. 8, 2007

HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • The Big Three automakers asked Congress for a federal bailout Friday at the exact moment O.J. Simpson begged a Nevada judge for mercy. What did you expect? O.J. Simpson was the last guy to buy a Ford Bronco and it didn’t turn out well for either of them. […]

Dec. 5, 2008

HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Plaxico Burress was wounded when his gun accidentally went off in his waistband in a nightclub Sunday. He claimed he was carrying it to protect his jewelry. If he really wanted to protect the family jewels, he was an idiot to put a gun in his pants. • […]

Dec. 4, 2008

HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • New York Giants star Plaxico Burress was arrested Monday for carrying an unlicensed gun in a nightclub. He shot himself in the leg to keep from spilling his drink. He lost a lot of blood but luckily John Daly was a perfect match for a blood transfusion. • […]

Dec. 3, 2008

HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • The Oklahoma Sooners passed Texas in the BCS Sunday for the chance to play the Alabama-Florida winner for the national title. It’s an obsession. It could be the middle of January before the entire South realizes we just elected a black president. • NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell expressed […]

Dec. 2, 2008

HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • John Daly teed off in the Australian Open Thursday. He said his alcohol demons have been cured by stem cell treatment. Billy Graham has given up giving personal interventions like he did with George W. Bush and now he’s just mailing his hair to everyone. • Thanksgiving Day […]