Dec. 1, 2008

HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Tiger Woods lost his $7 million endorsement deal with General Motors last week. He’ll recover. Within hours the Treasury Secretary offered Tiger Woods a $25 billion bailout if he would agree to a cut in salary and no bonus. • Thanksgiving Day had a huge spike in highway […]

Nov. 26, 2008

HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Twilight sold out at movie theaters this week as every teenage girl in America went wild over a vampire. Teenagers influence everybody. This week every bank in New York City is begging for an allowance without even offering to take out the trash. • The Screen Actors Guild […]

Nov. 25, 2008

HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Barack Obama got adoring press coverage last week as Newsweek compared him to Abe Lincoln and Time compared him to Franklin Roosevelt. President Bush was miffed by the comparisons. Sure Abe Lincoln and Franklin Roosevelt led the country out of a civil war and a great depression, but […]

Nov. 24, 2008

HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Somali pirates seized a Saudi oil tanker off Africa’s coast Monday. The piracy is rampant because Somalia has no functioning government. It usually works out fine unless housing prices in California collapse and the pirates lose their bonuses. • Saudi Arabia negotiated with pirates who seized a tanker […]

Nov. 20, 2008

HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Barack Obama vowed on CBS’s 60 Minutes Sunday he’ll lobby for a college football playoff to replace the current computerized BCS rankings. That’s how tenacious he is. The elections’s been over for two weeks and he’s still trying to carry the South. • The New York Stock Exchange […]

Nov. 21, 2008

HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Barack Obama’s interview on CBS’s 60 Minutes Sunday drew the biggest ratings for the show in 10 years. He vowed to lobby for college football playoffs and end the BCS. They’d better do what he says, starting January 20th he has the nuclear football. • Somali pirates hijacked […]

Nov. 19, 2008

HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Osama bin Laden issued a statement to the world on Saturday saying that Barack Obama is a Muslim because his father was a Muslim. That’s simply ridiculous. Does that make George W. Bush a good president just because his father was a good president? • Ringling Brothers was […]

Nov. 18, 2008

HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • The White House hosted a World Economic Summit Saturday. They drew up a 37-point plan to save the world. The first point was a directive to Barack Obama to make loaves and fishes and the next 36 points were recipes for sandwiches. • Los Angeles was swept by […]

Nov. 12, 2008

HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • President Bush welcomed Barack Obama to the White House Monday. By all reports the two had a great meeting. For eight years President Bush told everybody that he talked to Jesus but Democrats didn’t believe it until they saw the pictures Monday. • President Bush’s body language was […]

Nov. 11, 2008

HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Sarah Palin brushed off gossip by anonymous McCain aides Thursday. They called her a hillbilly who spends money like crazy and thinks Africa is a nation, not a continent. It’s the best impression of a Powerball Lottery winner anybody ever saw. • San Francisco officials decided Friday to […]